Spoke Magazine

Leonard Lovespoke rages on

Posted by leonardlovespoke on Friday May 23 2014

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Dear Leonard,

I love riding to work. It’s cheap, efficient and keeps me healthy. But there seem to be a lot of idiot drivers on the road. Is it safe to ride? Should I take the bus? I want to keep riding, but it seems so dangerous.

Yours,
Nervous Commuter.

 

Dear Nervous,

Just this evening I had an encounter with one of your idiot drivers. This genius decided that his immense priority would justify overtaking me while I was scooting happily down the ramp into the Pak ‘n Save basement carpark. Unfortunately there was a car oncoming, which resulted in threefold evasive action.

Things got worse.

Leonard, being a chap who believes in right from wrong, decided he should confront said fellow to convince him that perhaps the 1 second penalty would have been worth it. After all, we were both going to the same place.

“Yo, there wasn’t really any need for that, man.”

“Any need for what?! Do you think it was considerate to ride down the middle of the lane?”

“Um, yes?”

“I’m a cyclist too. I ride my bike every day. You’re a tosser!”

“Wait, what?”

“You’re a prick! What sort of a dickhead are you?”

“Look, mate, I’m just trying to talk to you.”

“You want a go?! Do you wanna go right now?”

“What? Of course I don’t.”

“Then you’d better get out of my face or we’ll go!”

Apparently you can’t even go to the supermarket without some neanderthal battler trying to put you in the gutter. So it begs the question – what are we supposed to do? Get into fist fights in supermarket basements? Tuck our tail between our legs and slink off to the shadows?

Or make like everybody else, and just grin and bear it. The world is full of mouth-breathers, Nervous, you’ve just gotta do what you can to avoid them. Take the singletrack. Take the gravel path. Get on the road at prime commuting hour and join the spastic throng of hi-viz goons thrashing about all over the road.

Safety in numbers, I suppose.

Either way, I hope you find your commuting nirvana. Don’t quit just yet.

Yours,
Leonard Lovespoke.

 

/—

 

If you need some life and/or love advice, have a burning relationship issue or just want to know about the birds and the bees, email Leonard then sit back and wait for the knowledge to set you free.

 

Categories: Leonard Lovespoke

  • Youraveragecommuter

    I tend to solve all my cycling based road rage arguments by raising my bicycle to head level and using a thrusting motion to insert my worn chainring into their windpipe.

  • dirtbeard

    im a fan of slapping taillights at high speed of people(cars) in bike lanes in all black .hey im a driver to

  • Phil

    Watch out for other cyclists too! You know the ones, they are wearing headphones and zig zag in front of you blissfully unaware of anything within a square kilometre. Or the cyclist that jets away from you at the lights in a tremendous display of virility only to slow on the next hill where you overtake him. This beast then pulls out a put-down pass on you with a demon move through traffic that only a lunatic would call well judged.

  • Jay Hodgkiss

    Smile and pull the finger. Everyone loves a bit of passive aggressiveness.

  • Paul Smith

    “the spastic throng of hi-viz goons thrashing about all over the road.”

    That’ll make me chuckle as I ride home amongst said throng this evening. Thanks!