Goldenboy and Firsty’s Excellent Adventure

So while Extreme Dave wasn’t sending us updates from The Biggest Roller Skating demo in the world, Goldenboy and Firsty were on a little adventure all of their own. Like everything that happens in towns where Roller Skating Demos take place it involved alcohol and like everything at Roller Skating Demos it involved bikes and cameras. Anyway it went down a little something like this… Some of the places and names may have been changed to protect the innocent.

As Goldenboy puts it, “shit got a bit rowdy.” After the Outdoor Roller Skating demo on Monday, Goldenboy (with his camera), Firsty and “Mike” hit up a nice little spot overlooking Lake Taupo, which is right by The Rollerskate Demo. As the Goldenboy states, “Turns out we were sessioning/photographing/skidding/drinking/hooting/hollering somewhere we shouldn’t”. Not one member of the slightly drunk party saw any signs; someone else did though, and called the authorities. After being detained for a couple of hours Goldenboy was informed that he would need to pay somewhere between USD$1000 and USD$100,000 to cover damage to the “fragile desert landscape”. You see it’s a “sensitive habitat” etc. (Kinda like those trails in Junction eh Ross?). After extensive background checks, they breathalyzed them and discovered that one of Goldenboy’s co-worker’s blood-alcohol level was over the legal limit. They said that the fines are the same whether you’re on a bike or in a car and that they would let them know the final cost after, “a team of biologists concluded an investigation”. A TEAM OF BIOLOGISTS!

“That night it rained. Hard. We’re talking flash flood, fucking torrential rains and it never rains in after Roller Skating demo country”. Goldenboy awoke and saw that it was pouring and hoped it might affect the “investigation”. He got a call  at about 5 pm the next day, to tell him that, “Due to the unseasonable weather and torrential rains” that the biologists had trouble identifying the spot where they were riding. After about four nail-biting minutes the officer finally said, “the evidence was inconclusive… (long pause)… basically it’s your lucky day.”